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Midterms II & III
Old 27th Sep 2007 07:00
hbar
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Comments: 8

He watched Cheryl's little round butt bounce up and down as she left his classroom. The tight jeans and high heeled sandals she wore accentuated her movement. Heisenberg was unconsciously aware that he had taken the first step towards selling his soul. His colleague and mentor Maxine Planck had been in the back of the room grading papers, an unobtrusive witness if needed, he had told her of Cheryl's proposition the evening before.

The previous evening Heisenberg had told his wife that he had again been approached by a student of his.

"Hmmnn" she had responded. "Did you tell anyone?"

"No, I was the last one in the building; I'll talk to Planck in the morning." Planck was more than a colleague and mentor, over the years she and her husband had become good friends despite the 20 year age difference. She had been instrumental in Heisenberg's acquiring this position teaching in the coastal community. The irony of Planck and Heisenberg working together was lost on everyone but the two of them. It had become their shared joke.

Heisenberg was already in bed when his wife came into their room; as usual she stripped in the closet and emerged in the white flannel nightgown with little pink roses he had grown to despise. He felt like the flannel, soft and worn, bland, his life covered by worn dull fabric. She got into bed and turned her back to him. He moved close behind her and put an arm over her, managing to slip his hand beneath the flannel and cup her warm breast in his palm.

He had softly run his thumb over her nipple, this had elicited two simultaneous responses, her nipple had immediately hardened and she had said "I already said not tonight, I'm tired please don't" Her icy tone, in sharp contrast to the warm breast he longed to kiss, lick, and suck, convinced him that again there was no hope of intimacy.

Heisenberg immediately rolled away, got up and went to spend the remainder of the night grading the never ending stack of papers that went with his calling. With each hour he felt part of himself wither. Exhausted, he had eventually fallen into a disturbed, restless sleep, darkness creeping in.

Heisenberg and Cheryl had arrived at an academic plan to improve her grade as he had intended. What he had not intended was agreeing to meet Cheryl for lunch the following Saturday.
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Old 28th Sep 2007   #1
lilypad
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

I'm glad to see the man finally got laid and I'm quite pleased that he chose the right partner! It is a very touching story - true to life?
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Old 30th Sep 2007   #2
hbar
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Reality pop it's head up in there every now and again.

Thank you fro taking the time to read and comment Lilypad.
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Old 3rd Oct 2007   #3
kittykat
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Great story, hbar! Very romantic, but also makes the reader identify with the reader, too. Keep it up! Want to see more from you.
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Old 19th Oct 2007   #4
cocoa2
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Hbar - Really liked the premise and the way you give the reader reason to continue. Good style of writing - only suggestion is more editing.
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Old 18th Jan 2008   #5
beam107
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Good job HBar,

For me the signature of a good writer is the ability to create characters and storylines that compel one to continue reading. I began your tale "halfway in/halfway out" (especially given this was a digression from my online task), but once I began I was compelled to continue to the finish. Thanks for the read ... the characters were engrossing, the story line entertaining, and, given the genre, I felt that the conclusion was a bonus, i.e., portraying an ultimately hopeful (and erotic) possibility for anyone in a long-term relationship currently gone stale!!!
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Old 5th Jun 2008   #6
hbar
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Hey, cool! Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this story you guys. It has been quite awhile since I have been here and I am pretty surprised to find that a few people actually read and commented. I appreciate your time and effort.

Perhaps a new erotic idea will take root and I will get it on paper, so to speak.
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Old 5th Jun 2008   #7
Dionysius
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

It is no surprise to me that this story should be so utterly credible to me. The valor of Heisenberg strikes very deep roots in me and I believe any man who loved his wife when he married her. Because of her certitude that she has him, this situation can go on for years with many couples. The genders can be reversed of course. But for just one time a writer showed a man with the courage to live up to his word and leave it to his wife to break it off or reaffirm it. It also shows that men don't always fall for the opportunities he has that come at such a high price.
Because of that honesty, that ability to observe the truth and stick with it, the ability to describe the emotions at the moment of vision and decision, this was not just a great piece of writing but a testament to all those people try to recover their origin: love--agape, eros, philia. Thank you for writing this hbar. It was GREAT.
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Old 28th Nov 2008   #8
hbar
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Default Re: Midterms II & III

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dionysius
It also shows that men don't always fall for the opportunities...
Thank you, I am glad somebody got it. Majes me feel like it wasn't a waste after all.
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