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A Dark Night: Parts 1 and 2
Old 29th Mar 2010 11:37
DaAuthor
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Category: Fantasy
Views: 2,218
Comments: 2
    But for some reason, going down this street tonight just seemed a bit too … sinister. She was convinced that someone … or some people were watching her; following her every move; waiting to capture her. Then she heard it. A loud Crack! And before she knew it, she was running away, screaming at the night. She had no idea who or what was following her, and she didn’t care, she just needed to get away … to get home. That was her last thought before she tripped, colliding into one of the few working streetlight poles.

 
    Head aching with a sore body to match, Alana struggled to get back up, holding onto the pole for support. At least now I have some decent light, she thought, groaning to herself. Then she surveyed her surroundings clumsily, trying to get her bearings. What she saw nearly made her faint again. The street was no longer deserted. Instead it was quite populated by a group of tall, pale people: men and women; all with looks of either lust or hunger on their faces. And they were slowly getting closer, steadily getting illuminated by the light of the streetlamp. What Alana saw shocked her, their lips were a deep, deep red, being almost crimson. But what scared her most was the sharp white objects which peeked beneath those lips; their fangs.

 
    What kinda freaks are they? She thought to herself, but out loud she said, in a more scared voice than intended, “Who are you people?”

 
    No answer. Instead they slithered over to her even more quickly, wanting eyes piercing her body while moans of deep need invaded her ears. She needed to escape from them, but she was petrified to the spot.

 
    “Please, leave me alone! Don’t come any closer!”

 
    And with that she attempted to run away from the menacing group, but her head seared with blinding pain, nearly making her collapse again. Thankfully she hung onto the pole, not like running would make a difference. She was surrounded, and these things only got closer and closer. I’m going to die here, thought Anna, her consciousness steadily leaving her, I don’t know why, but I’m going to freaking die here. And with that thought her legs buckled from underneath her, making her collapse onto the ground. Clinging to the pole she cried out “Someone, anyone, HELP!!!”

 
But as expected, no one answered; the monster club surrounding her just laughed. Then one of them, a man with exceptionally long fangs, loped up towards her, a wide, demented grin on his face.

 
“Oh, I’ll help you alright babe, then I’ll help myself to some of your boiling, succulent blood!” he said, only a few feet away from her now. Disgusted, Alana took up the biggest rock she could find, and desperately threw it straight at the man. It never reached his face; the man disappeared altogether. Then she felt a sharp pain to her neck, and a drop of blood trickled down from it as she gasped in pain and surprise.

 
   “Good … we have a feisty one here” the man said, extending his tongue to lick away the drop of blood. She shuddered intensely in disgust. What the hell is he? Alana thought, no one can move so fast. And then she plunged her hand in her bag for her pepper spray but the man stopped her, seizing her wrist and wrapping his arm around her body, rendering Alana helpless.

 
(Page 1 of 12)
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Comments to Story: A Dark Night: Parts 1 and 2
Old 9th Apr 2010   #1
peppercorn
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Default Re: A Dark Night: Parts 1 and 2

Exciting and well written story. You use vivid imagery and your words held me captive throughout. I enjoyed the second part and liked the twists and turns as they surprised me. I especially liked your phrase, "wincing a little each time her sensitive clit sparked with gratitude." Great image! You write your sex scenes imaginatively and you know how to create sensual HEAT. Well done.
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Old 9th May 2010   #2
Dionysius
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Default Re: A Dark Night: Parts 1 and 2

Powerfully written, multi-layered piece that used not only wonderful the usual story-telling to hold the reader but suspense. The writer created a suspense as to which possible story line was the true one. It is finally reveal at the very end. What is real, what is not.
The sensuality of the erotic side of the story was also powerful, holding the reader in the palm is his/her hand.
I find it interesting that a can of pepper spray was used. Very paradoxical and telling.
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