Dream Job (Everyman's Fantasy)

The California Board of Education meeting once again ran late into the night. The stale air became stifling in the August evening, as the air conditioning units had been shut down over an hour ago. Tempers started to flare, as discussions had become as hot as the California sunshine. Arguments were heard and heard again with no end in sight.

"Look," said the chairman flatly, "we have to find a solution and soon. The dropout rate in the Southern California School system is at an all time high. Attendance rates are the worst in decades. Our federal funding is in jeopardy. If we don't fix this problem immediately, all our paychecks will be on the line. Believe me, heads will roll."

His words were ominous. Suddenly you could hear a pin drop.

"We will adjourn and reconvene in the morning," he added in a serious tone, "we are all tired and we are getting nowhere tonight."

The next day's meeting got off relatively smoothly. People seemed refreshed and a bit more spirited than the previous night.

The usual suggestions of tying teachers' pay to student test scores and other accountability issues were once again debated and shot down. Once again the meeting seemed to be going nowhere. The chairman was visibly frustrated.

"Mr. Chairman, I have a suggestion," said a female voice from the crowd.

"State your name please," said the chairman.

"Elizabeth Rodriguez," stated the woman, "my daughter goes to school here."

"OK, Ms. Rodriguez," said the chairman, "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, I've been thinking," began the woman. "It seems to me the only way to correct the problem is to completely revise the curriculum. The reason why attendance rates are so poor and the dropout rate so high, is that students are just not interested. I mean who really cares what the capital of Lithuania is anyway?"

"Well, Ms. Rodriguez, what do you have in mind?" asked the chairman flatly.

"I think students should be taught real life skills," said the woman in a determined voice, "Like oral sex."

There were audible moans and giggles from the crowd.

"Oral sex?" The chairman seemed perplexed. "So, you mean to tell me you would have your daughter taught oral sex in school instead of geography?"

"Well, yes," continued the woman hesitantly, "I mean if it would keep her in school and perhaps make her more suitable for marriage."

There was laughter from the audience.

"At least you know she will do her homework!" shouted a voice in the crowd.
More laughter was heard.

"OK, I see your point. I think this is a bit extreme, but at this point I'm willing to try anything," said the chairman, "I doubt it will pass, but I will at least put it to a vote after lunch. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Lunchtime came and went rather uneventfully though it was clear what the main topic of discussion was at everyone's table. After lunch, as promised, the new curriculum was voted on.

"Has the board made a decision?" questioned the chairman.

"Yes we have, Mr. Chairman."

"How say ye?"

"We vote in favor of the new curriculum by a margin of one vote."

There was an undercurrent of hushed moans, giggles and general muffled conversation.

"Well, this is a surprise," stated the chairman. "I need to get this going right away if we are to institute these changes by the start of the school year."

He then turned to one of his assistants, a shapely brunette in her mid twenties.

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