Pete And Joe Get Laid (Second Stab At Humor In Sex)

Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza.

"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?"

"Yea, I ordered the damn pizza."

"Extra sausage?" Pete asks.

"I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically.

"What's taking Jose so long, he's usually much quicker?" asks Pete.

"What am I, his mother? How should I know?" Joe adds.

Suddenly the door buzzer rings. Joe goes over to the intercom and presses the button. "Hello."

"Pizza," a voice says.

"Alright, come on up."

Moments later there is a knock on the door.

"Coming."

Joe opens the door and in pops in an energetic young man carrying a pizza box.

"Yo, dudes, wuz up? Ah man, let me tell you. I had the best bitch last night. This bitch was amazing! She could suck the white off rice. I mean she was hot. She did me every way till sundown. I got no sleep last night, this bitch had me pumpin' all night. She sucked me dry, she sucked my ass. I sucked her pussy. I sucked her titties and I mean she had the most perfect titties. I mean the biggest titties you ever seen...and her ass, ah man, to die for! Ah, bros, you should have seen this bitch!" said Jose energetically. "I mean she was hot, and a freak in bed!"

"Sounds hot," says Joe.

"Was she. I mean she cleaned my pipes," says Jose. "That be twelve bucks, by the way."

"Here, keep the change."

"So, what you dudes doing tonight?" asks Jose. "I bet you getting some action yourselves."

"Ah, we waiting on a couple of babes," replies Joe.

"Alright! You guys don't wear 'em out too bad, hear?" Jose says.

"Yeah, we'll try not to break 'em in half," says Joe.

"I hear ya. Later dudes."

"Later."

Jose leaves the apartment as Pete and Joe stare at the pizza on the table like they are waiting for it to get up and dance.

"We waiting on a couple of babes?" Pete says.

"Ah, well, yes," says Joe.

"We been waiting on a couple of babes for about the last ten years," Pete says. "Like waiting for Godot."

"Alright, so we ain't exactly Don Juan," says Joe.

"Ain’t exactly Don Juan? Heck, you haven't had pussy since the pussy had you," Pete says. "Shit, you still got that condom in your wallet since high school prom."

"I can't help it Sharon Keller got sick that night," says Joe.

"Eat your pizza," says Pete. "I guess we're both just a couple of hard up losers."

"Join the club."

After dinner, the two men sit on the sofa and watch TV.

"Pete man, do you feel like renting a skin flick on pay for view?" Joe asks. "Maybe it'll give us some ideas."

"Yeah, sure. Can't hurt."

The two men order the porno movie and turn it on. While some boring porno flick music plays obnoxiously in the background, a pizza deliveryman approaches a house.

He then rings the doorbell. A hot looking blonde wearing only panties answers the door and immediately drags him inside. She happens to have an equally hot looking friend over, also wearing nothing but panties, and they all start to have wild sex.

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