God's problem

coldsteel

" Rabbi, what should I do? My son has converted to Christianity." " I don't know," answered the Rabbi, " Come back tomorrow, and I'll ask advice from God." The man comes back the next day and the Rabbi tells him, " I can't help you, God says he has the same problem."

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Marriage is the price men pay for sex. Sex is the price women pay for marriage.

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A dad was explaining the facts of life to his son. " All women are different son." "One thing to keep in mind is that different women will say different things while having sex, depending on their occupation."
"For example, a prostitute will tend to say,'Are you done yet?' "
"A nymphomaniac will say, 'ARe you done already?' "
"A school teacher will say, 'We are going to do this over and over till you get it right!' "
" A nurse will say,' This won't hurt a bit.' "
" A bank teller will say, 'There will be a substantial penalty for early withdrawal.' "
"And a stewardess will say, 'PLace this over your mouth and breath narmally.' "
SOn: " What does mom say dad?"
"Your mother says, 'Beige...beige...I think we should paint the ceiling beige.' "

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Three old men were talking in a retirement home.
The first says, "Every morning at 7:00 I get up and try to urinate." "All day long I try to urinate , but can't."
The second says,"Every day at 8:00 I wake up and try taking a bowel movement." " All day long I try and can't."
The third says, " I'm ninety years old." "Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate." " Every morning at 8:00 sharp, I have a bowel movement."
"And every morning at 9:00 sharp, I wake up!"

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Gypsy

Those are some great jokes. thanks

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