30 Lines To Make You Smile....

sosinful · 27th Aug 2008

1. My husband & I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God & I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Dionysius · 28th Aug 2008

Sin, you made me smile darlin before I even read the 30 lines.

Once I did I was laughing out loud.
The surprising one was # 29 as I was trained with one for a job I had. Never thought of it quite that way!! lol
Thanks for keeping me smiling kid!

kittykat · 28th Aug 2008

Love this one...and I smiled with each and every one!

xxxx

Shy · 29th Aug 2008

loved it ..

27th Aug 2008	#1
sosinful Inspired Author Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Central Pennsylvania Stories: 2 Posts: 137 Gender: Female	30 Lines To Make You Smile.... 1. My husband & I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God & I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing. 11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 13. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 19. Procrastinate Now! 20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance 23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 24.They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 28. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson. 30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. __________________ Erotic Stories and Adult Literature

28th Aug 2008	#2
Dionysius Inspired Author Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New England Stories: 3 Posts: 609 Gender: Male	Re: 30 Lines To Make You Smile.... Sin, you made me smile darlin before I even read the 30 lines. Once I did I was laughing out loud. The surprising one was # 29 as I was trained with one for a job I had. Never thought of it quite that way!! lol Thanks for keeping me smiling kid! __________________ Erotic Stories and Adult Literature

28th Aug 2008	#3
kittykat Inspired Author Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In the cream Stories: 7 Posts: 968 Gender: Female Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: 30 Lines To Make You Smile.... Love this one...and I smiled with each and every one! xxxx __________________ Erotic Stories and Adult Literature

29th Aug 2008	#4
Shy Chat Moderators Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Dover , De Stories: 3 Posts: 664 Gender: Female Awards Showcase Total Awards: 1	Re: 30 Lines To Make You Smile.... loved it .. __________________ Erotic Stories and Adult Literature

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