Could it really be worth it?

lilypad

Kitty,

I have been pondering on this for quite some time now. I believe that a first kiss is really the deciding factor to the rest of the relationship. Well.. okay.. I can understand a little nervous tension could possible interfere with the knee buckling.. but how long should that last?

I tried to do what I could to change it.. the slobbering was just a real turn off... I tried showing him how to do it the way I liked and no such luck. Do you want to have sex.. forever without kissing? Yes.. it was that bad! Well.. funny enough... Cosmo Mag just came out with an article about your man being a bad kisser and how to teach him. Now... I think I went through all of these steps and gosh.. if I can't kiss my man... I just don't think there's much more to the physical end.

Yes.. I am talking about a past experience.. since my hubby kisses really well! (thank god) but I just read the Cosmo advice and am anxious to hear yours on the subject for any future slobberers and the ones who don't want to be slobbered on. How much time is enough.. should there be a limit on the kisses... like if he can't get it in 15.. then forget it or what??

With much love,
Lily

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kittykat

Well Lily.. that's a tough one. I know what a kiss can mean to a couple and a first kiss is like the most anticipated of all. I think if you have other common ground to even get to that point - that it is something that you can work on - together.

I hope there was honesty and understanding from both parties - it does take two. If it's something you two really want to work on... it will most likely become the knee buckling kiss you are looking for.

I can only imagine what it would be like to not kiss. I love kissing and think that it is such a HUGE part of relationships. I can't imagine never kissing during sex either. I need to kiss. But, of course, that is my personal opinion. I am sure there are people who can, and do, have sex without kissing.

Now, as to the limit on how many kisses should you have before you throw in the towel? Well, it is hard to put a number on that. I would probably give it a few months...sometimes the other party is a fast learner. But, each person knows how much they can handle, and if it is not working then, unfortunately, it may not ever work.

I encourage everyone not to stop after the first kiss because ya never know what you are gonna get!! And did you know Lily... I give free lessons!


xxx,
Kitty

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silverfox

well kitty,
speaking from my vast experience on this matter,i would say that the first kiss is so important,as it gives your partner a hint of the delights to come.If you think your partner could do better,or vice versa,don't worry,as the relationship grows,and with subtle encouragement,you will soon get to know how the other likes to be kissed,and as for the length of time a kiss should last...........the longer the better,that way you both can try different ways of kissing,then judge your partners reactions.....simple!!!...and kitty,i also give free lessons,lol xxxxx 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) ;-)

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Dionysius

Dear Lily, Kitty, and friends,

I just love kissing. Long hot kisses, steamy French kisses, and variations on those styles.
When I kiss a woman, I want her to feel so much of what I feel for her through it. So I adore kissing and taking my sweet time with it...whether that leads to a romp or not.
I once loved a woman immensely and the biggest reason was her kiss. Lawwwwwwwwdddeeeee!!!
Woooohooooo! What a kisser!!! Besides her face, it is what I remember best about her, and what I miss most.
There were so many times, a bottle of wine, a good movie, maybe some little chewable, but mostly sweet cuddles and kisses could make an evening.
She had incredible lips and a face with hair I could get lost in that made me want to just kiss her lips, her face (butterflies), run my finger over her lips to feel how soft and moist they were, and rub my face into her hair...oh baby!!! A little reciprocal head playing there and I'll be on a cloud for sure.

She once told me that the kiss is the metaphor for the rest of love making too. I don't know how to explain all that but I do know that without the kissing, I am just not as warmed up to her as I want to be. I just don't feel as close as I'd like. I certainly need the intimacy it can create to turn sex into making love.
An enhancer for me is sweet talking whether erotic or not, like "oh baby ytou make me so hungry for you (lol!)" or "oh gawwwwd you gorgeous creature you, you are so tasty...you make me wanna eat you up!" Or even little grunts and groans.
Coupled with some good hugging and even "wrestling" or "rough house" and it can be, maybe not quite as good as intercourse or some other sexual activity but I can be something you crave to have with someone. It can be just as playful as anything you do.
Ok, better stop, I'm missing her too much right now...wonder if anyone will ever kiss me like that again.

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peppercorn

Kissing is wonderful, but can be different with each person you encounter. My very first deep kissing experience was a huge turn on and was not a prelude to sex in any way. It was a kiss for the kiss itself, and it went on for over half and hour. I get wet just thinking about it.
Sometimes a kiss may not be enjoyable for a number of reasons. Some people love an open-mouthed kiss, and some, a more closed-mouth kiss. Some love it wet and juicy, while others like it drier and more controlled. You have to communicate in subtle ways and get to know the likes and dislikes of each partner. A crossed-match between kissing partners can lead to a bad experience, without good communication. Occasionally, even, not liking a scent that someone is wearing, can make a kiss with that person less enjoyable. You might not even realize it is a distraction, but you will remember not enjoying the kiss.
A bad first-kiss experience, though, does not necessarily mean there can't be improvement. It should be given every opportunity if there are good things in the relationship that are worth continuing. Communication and the desire to please are paramount in any relationship, so even a bad first experience has a chance to get better. Besides, the practicing part can be very enjoyable!!

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