Love and business

lilypad

Dear mindful Kitty,

I know this is a very common issue today. Do you have any suggestions on making a relationship work when the couple not only sexually hungers for one another but they work together too? I mean, if there is an issue at work/home it surely effects the other as well. How do you suggest couples deal with their issues separately and do you think it's possible for a relationship like this to work?

And... do you think companies should be able to dictate that their employees NOT socialize with each other outside of work? Not necessarily a relationship .. but even have a cocktail or two.

Of course I am not in a situation as such... only wondering.. just in case! lol

Thank you so much!

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kittykat

Okay, Lily dear, here is my take on this. I think that people who work together can have a relationship as long as they come to an understanding that when at work it is work. Especially if one works under the other. (no pun in tended...lol) It is difficult to do, especially if one person takes it into their head to get power hungry and abuse that power against the other. That, unfortunately, does happen sometimes. But, if both parties are mature, and accept the fact that they are at work, and most of the criticism is constructive, then it might work. Of course, most of the time, it does not end up like that this and it ususally does not work out.

So, that being said, I personally would steer away from having a relationship with someone I work with. Because of the emotional attachments that go along with the relationship, if one person does something bad, they might expect the one who is superior to go easy on them because of the relationship, which, of course is as my 6-year old would put it..... NO FAIR. And, many people within the comapny that know of the relationship will look with resentment upon the other person, and assume that they get special treatment.

Most of the time it is really difficult to separate work from home life when you work together. BUT, if you are co-exectuives then, it may work. You both have equal power within the company, but there is also a downside too. LOL If you have conflicting ideas, then that get sticky as well. So, say one has an idea that they think is perfect and other one does not, then it gets brought home and arguments ensue, and it makes living and working toegether difficult.

Goodness!! I am starting to sound like a Debbie Downer!! But, like I did state before, there are times when it can work. Most times it works when both people are peons, and in different departments. That way, no one gets jealous of the other and no one gets special treatment.

Now, as to the question of a company dictating whether their employees can socialize outside of work. Well, do you mean socializing or fraternizing??

If it is socializing, they shouldn't have a say in that because it is not on company time. And, many people do become friends within a company...it is hard not to. Going out to have lunch during lunchtime is pretty acceptable to me. And, even going out with a bunch of people from work on a Saturday night seems okay to me.

But, when you start sleeping with people within the same company, then, it gets sticky. Because you eventually break-up, and then the revenge stuff starts in, and it makes for a huge mess on up the corporate ladder...lol

Lots of corporations have a no fraternization clause that has to be signed for you to work there. Some of it is pretty silly, and some of it makes sense. But for the most part, if it is not on company time, then it really is no business of their's.

Unfortunately, all of this comes down to maturity. Most of the time, one or both parties are not looking at the relationship through mature eyes and it really does become a huge mess. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that unless you are both mature enough to realize that work needs to stay at work, then do not enter into a realtionship with someone you work with.

Gosh, I just had an MS moment! This was a super-long post, for me anyway. Sorry, MS!! you know I love ya!!

Hope this answered your question, Lily darling. And, you could come work for me OR with me and I will always give you special treatment. :-D


xxx,
Kitty

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Dionysius

Well I was thinking of the whole thing in a much more simple way:

When I make love to a woman, I really mean business!!! lol

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lilypad

Ummmm. where is it that you work Dionysius? I might be looking for another job!

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greedyandneedy

I have a related, although different issue of being really quite attracted to my new employee.

As a responsible boss, and a married man, I nearly didn't hire her, because she's really attractive, we have a lot in common and there's obviously a spark of interest there between us. I knew it would be a headache for me.

Tricky one... I would have felt awful depriving her of a job because I'm attracted to her, that seemed very unfair. But, I do find my mind wandering, and in the morning I often wonder what outfit she'll be wearing today, I watch as her crossed leg bounces as she types, occasionally wondering if she ever thinks of me like I do her...

Not good at all, all though it is nice to have some pleasant office scenery to look at, I feel a little bad about the whole thing. Just felt like sharing really.

Will just have to get over it really ... she is jolly sexy though.
I'm trying to tell myself that it doesn't make me a bad boss, or a bad person, it probably just makes me a male person... which I am so that's ok.

:-)

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